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Amy · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 14

Hi,

I've started this short story, I haven't finished it yet, but I wanted to know if it is engaging enough to continue. Does the character sound a litte weird or insane?

Thanks, look forward to hearing from you all. Smile

-Amy

There’s a Yeti on my roof (working title) ©2007

Now, don’t ask me how any of this came about, a person doesn’t plan these things. I mean, people don’t go through major changes in their lives with the awareness that something was going to change, at least that’s how it was for me. At the time, a year ago, I read an advertisement about setting up a home-based business – that was all it took for the idea to be planted. But that seed spiraled up at an alarming rate, and before I knew it, had set up my own business as a freelance writer. It’s amazing how much can be crammed in a short period when you have nothing else in your live. Can you image my surprise when I was hired to write a regular column for local paper, which drew attention to my writing and created more columns for other newspapers and magazines.

I left my boring administration job in the city and settled into a comfortable routine. ‘So where is all of this going?’ you might ask. I’m getting to that so hang in there for a bit longer. I lived, worked and slept under the one roof, a small house that took precious little cleaning. And even though I spoke to editors asking for my next column, and an increasing number of telemarketers (if I wanted your darn product or service then I’d call you!) on the phone and email, life became lonely. The friends I had I managed to push out of my life, at least temporarily, in order to concentrate on making my business successful. Oddly enough, I didn’t mind, I had goals, dreams, a retirement plan. It just meant I had be remain focused.

‘Get to the point,’ I hear you say, and so I shall. About a year into my own business, after I had finished for the day, munched on yet another microwave-heated precooked meal that was big on flavour and not much else (I hit the jackpot this time: three bite size pieces of chicken). I watched a girlie movie and climbed into bed without the slightest realisation that I should be concern how my life was turning out. Sleep came swiftly and I floated away on a perfect dream…until the pounding penetrated the dream and I became aware the pounding was coming from my roof. At first I thought a rat was up there (no way I’m going after a rat), but then it ran across from one corner to the other. And if that was a rat then it must’ve been wearing size twelve gumboots for all the noise it made.

Lying there curled up with the doona wrapped around me with my eyes peering up at the ceiling, I came to the theory that it wasn’t a rat. Perhaps a possum had torn a hole into the eaves and crawled in and was currently learning how to tango on my ceiling. My eyes darted across the ceiling again following the monster-sized feet, certain that any moment it would crash through.

Maybe it wasn’t a rat or a possum, perhaps it was a yeti. Of course, it wasn’t a yeti, I thought, for one thing I lived in Australia so it had to be an abdominal-snow man or big foot, but somehow a yeti on my roof had a more magical sound then an abdominal-snow man on my roof. So no matter what it was, I had nicknamed it Yeti.

brooke · Joined: 26 Feb 2007 Posts: 12 Location: Perth

Hey Amy,
I thought I would be the first to post back. I think your story is great, it shows the character's way of thinking very well and reflects how a solitary person can begin to make something from nothing. Would love to read the rest of it. Also was wondering whether the ' abdominal-snow man' was a purposely made mistake for character development or humour? I thought it was abominable???

Anyway I think you should definitely keep up with it!

Brooke

Monster · Joined: 22 Feb 2007 Posts: 19

Hi Amy,

I like the way you've created her isolation, but I would like to know why? It sounds like your character has rid herself of her friends in pursuit of her career. Why has she done this? Or will that be answered later.

I'm interested to see where you're going to go with this. Hurry up and finish it so we can read it. Very Happy

Amy · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 14

Thank you Brooke and Monster,

I will keep going with it.

I wanted to show the character's isolation which is why I've done it this way. Actually I had an idea for the finish so I just have to work on the middle bit. I'll post it once I'm done.

As for the typo...oops! Thanks for pointing that out Brooke. You know I've read this heaps of times and I just didn't see it.

Thanks again.

I'd love to ready something you have written.

Merri · Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 11:07 pm Post subject:

Hoping for more of this story!

You seem a bit worried about taking time to 'get to the point.' Perhaps you could start at the interesting bit, then tell how you got there, then go on. For instance

At first I thought a rat was up there (no way I’m going after a rat), but then it ran across from one corner to the other. And if that was a rat then it must’ve been wearing size twelve gumboots for all the noise it made.

Then most of your introduction, then back to the rat. Do you think that would grab the reader's interest as a beginning?